Sunday, December 12, 2010


Lessons?  Who needs lessons?!  Apparently my mom thinks we do, so she managed to get this guy, they call him Dutch Mike, down.  I still say that I don't need lessons.

Well, maybe...

One of the things that I hate about this place is that you never know what could be going on at any given time.  We often have helicopters flying low overhead, there's a dump truck that empties the manure dumpsters, a weird thing that cleans the porta-john, tractors, trains, and don't even get me started with the Cav.  They think mule trains and cannon are the bee's knees!  Ugh!  Mules!

Anyway, yesterday they were filming for the WWE's "Tribute to the Troops" just inside the gate, which is entirely too close if you ask me.  Also, a cold front came through, kicking the winds up to about a million miles per hour. Mom actually got me out of my stall!  I tried to warn her by not wanting to go, but she actually persisted!  We go in the round pen, and I laughed.  Haha!  You think I'll pay you any attention?!?!  They've got obnoxiously loud music booming from just over there!  She gets out the whip.  Well, I can intimidate her by going into flight mode!

So there I go, galloping in all my thoroughbred glory around the roundpen, and this Dutch Mike guy actually tells her to keep me going until I show signs of submission!  What?!?!  I lick, lower my head, pretend I care and Mom stops, so I run for a minute, since she's not paying me any attention, then stop and hang out.  She comes over, gives me a pat, and walks away.  What?  Walks away?  OK, where ya going, Mom?  Oh, what's that over there?  Is that the source of that awful racket?  Crap!  Mom's making me run again!

I admit, I'm not too bright.  We went through this several times before he finally gave the OK for her to get on me.  He said that he thought that I knew she existed by then, so let's give it a go.  "Let me see what you normally do..."

Mom gets on, starts walking me around (gotta give her credit for having the balls to do it after that warm up!).  I tense and look, and she tries to pull my head around to get my attention.  He stops her and tells her to try just leg first.  OK.  So I tense and look.  Next thing I know, I've got her inside leg in my side.  Crap!  Better pay attention!  Maybe I can run through it?  No!  Half halt on outside rein!  What?  This guy is good!  I may be able to get all that past my mom, but not him!

So then, he wants us to trot.  Yay!  I know that all I have to do is go fast, lean and spook, and Mom starts getting nervous.  After a few minutes, all I have to do is behave (meaning not rear or buck for a few times around) and I'm done for the day.  Easy peasy!  I pop my shoulder in, give her my best tense act, rush, and try to lean, but she's not there for me to lean on.  Again, What?!?!  Where'd she go?  Then I hear, "Inside leg!  Push her forward!"  Crap!  This guy is better than I gave him credit for!  OK, for half the circle, I'll play your game.  I stretch and reach for the bit, lift my back and give him what he wants.  That other half, where that loud stuff is coming from, no way!

OK, even with the loud stuff, I was better than I should have been.

See how scared she looks?  Even when I look that good, the fear really works!  Then again, I look that good all the time.

OK, back to the story.  I don't know where Mom got the balls from, but this guy asked for the canter, and she actually did it!  Now, we haven't cantered in a while, and she knows my trick.  Head up, tuck butt and bolt.  I had to laugh because she had that puny, way too big martingale on me instead of her draw reins, so I knew that I could get away with it.  So up we go to the canter, and I feel her brace for it, so I gave it to her good!  But what did she do?  She opened her inside rein, gave me a good push with her inside leg and drove me forward!  Ack!  

I officially hate "lessons".